words, words, words.

Why can't I learn to just sit back and let the chips fall where the may? Haven't I learned that arranging them myself never works out the way I plan and that I just end up making a fool of myself? Instead of chips falling it turns into shit hitting the fan, every single time. This time, I'm going to stop tampering with fate and let her run her own course. No more trying to choose, no more trying to control my fate. It's not my place anyway.

...

Why is that so much easier said than done? Why wont my brain stop spinning around in circles? Why do I jump whenever my phone goes off, and why does my heart sink every time it's not him? Which, let's be honest, is 90% of the time. This course of thinking is uncalled for because I have no justification other than my infatuation. What else is new? I seem to find my soul mate every month and each time I tell myself it's different and each time I end up embarrassing myself by going too far out on a limb or heartbroken. It's time I played a different game, because right now I have nothing going for me.