the portrait

Mindy is probably going to Doggy Heaven this weekend. She's just not having fun anymore, and when your dog stops having fun then it's time to say goodbye. This has been a bad season for our family, 4 animals in just a couple of months. With the exception of Romy all of them were very old though. Romy was just a tragic accident.

I babysat today for a couple hours and made $30 and not 5 minutes after I got paid my mother asked if she could borrow $20. I found it humorous. I know she'll pay me back though.

I'm about 4 episodes into season 4 of the L Word. I think the sooner I finish the series, the sooner I can get back to my life.. this always happens with tv shows. I get sucked in and then I just can't pull myself out until the show is over, especially if I'm watching the series on dvd or somewhere I have access to all the episodes, it's different when I'm just watching it on tv.

I found this poem in a batch of recordings I had, and it broke my heart. It's called "The Portrait" by Stanley Kunitz

My mother never forgave my father

for killing themselves,

especially at such an awkward time

and in a public park,

that spring

when I was to be born.

She locked his name

in her deepest cabinet

and would not let him out.

though I could hear him thumping.

When I came down from the attic

with the pastel portrait in my hand

of a long-lipped stranger

with a brave mustache

and deep brown level eyes,

she ripped it into shreds

without a single word

and slapped me hard.

In my 64th year

I can feel my cheek

still burning.